Monday, October 10, 2011

A Look Back - Zoolander



Ten years ago we all found out what a eugoogalizer was and that orange mocha frappuchinos were a great way to tame the blues. This was all thanks to Derek Zoolander. I don’t know whether it’s the fall air or the fact that a new team of besties came out last weekend, Stefon and Zoolander, which you can watch at the link below…


But as hilarious as the above is, (how could you do that to Hansel?!) Zoolander has been a favorite of mine for many years. Being only 14 at the time it was released, I don’t think I actually got to see this in the theaters, but I definitely remember falling in love watching it’s syndication on TV, and even though this movie is far from Oscar worthy, (in the people’s eyes, not mine) the love and laughter come charging at you anyway. There’s been recent talk of a sequel with the original cast returning, ten years later into a new world where they may seem out of date and maybe not model of the year worthy anymore. I hope this comes to fruition soon, because the time is perfect for Stiller. Between the fun and family oriented Night at the Museum’s to the lackluster third chapter of Little Fockers to the upcoming hit or miss Tower Heist, I think everyone needs a little bit of Derek, Hansel, and Matil again. (In between Finnish dwarves of course.)

There are a million things I could go on and on about while I laugh and type simultaneously, but it’s the little things that are real memory triggers for me. Alexander Skaarsgard from HBO’s True Blood was one of the male models, um earth to Sookie another reason why you should be with Eric. Probably my favorite little known fact from this film comes from the discussion between Derek, Matilda, and David Duchovny’s beautiful hand model character J.P. Prewitt in the graveyard. Derek asks why male models, and Duchovny’s response is a good example of so, until Derek pauses and repeats but why male models to which he replies, are you serious? I just answered that. Apparently Stiller forgot his line after David’s big speech, so he just repeated his earlier line while David just went with it. To me that is just another fine example of comedy gold.

Many people ask me, really, Zoolander? Yes, it’s really in my top 10. Not only do I crack the fuck up every time I watch it, but it just tugs at my heart strings just a little bit. I don’t know if it’s him asking the moon, who am I, or the love story between Ben Stiller and his wife, but this movie just gets me in a warm, fuzzy place. I can’t resist Hansel’s story of falling down Mt. Vesuvius, how you know Mugatu gets farty and bloaty from foamy lattes, centers for ants, mermen, freak gasoline fight accidents or just the utter and complete ironic stupidity of everything this movie stands for. Let’s all cross our fingers for the return of Blue Steel, and hope that Magnum can come out and dazzle us all once again. And to end this entry here is one of the best scenes from Zoolander.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

This Was Not Filmed In Front of a Live Studio Audience

The sit-com is slowly on its path to extinction, and I don’t mean in general, but the sit-coms filmed in front of a live studio audience are. Since the dawn of television, sit-coms have become a staple in the American family home, with classics like The Honeymooners, I Love Lucy, Bewitched and steadily going throughout the rest of the century. But once the year 2000 hit, the live studio audience became a rare commodity and instead most TV shows today, comedy or drama, are not filmed in front of an audience and this past decade has produced some of the best shows on television. These days it seems almost impossible to get a good live audience sit-com right, but why is that? There have been millions of cheesy sit-coms in the past, Full House, Boy Meets World, The Brady Bunch, so why is it so hard to get it right today?

Let’s think back. Friends, Seinfeld, That ‘70s Show, not only are these some of my all-time favorite shows, but they all had laugh tracks, and they were damn good. Seinfeld was good because it wasn’t the atypical sit-com, and its premise was about nothing. Seinfeld also was never cheesy. It was always outrageous and the four of them got into the most insane situations, most of them based on real events that happened to Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld. Friends, was also another great show with an audience. It was never groundbreaking, six friends living in New York that date, have sex and get into “everyday” situations. I was heartbroken when I had to send my monkey back to the zoo, and who hasn’t had their brother’s triplets? Regardless, the relationships of the six of them were so close that you wanted to be in that group. You wanted to have a cup of coffee at Central Perk. You wanted to have sex with Joey or listen to Phoebe sing Smelly Cat. This show worked so well because of the relationships that were built over those ten years. This show worked because you rooted for them, for better or for worse. Another great example is That ‘70s Show. I never saw this show as a show about the ‘70s. It was a show about a group of teenagers growing up, and all the stuff that gets thrown their way. The cast worked so well together, and even though Topher Grace and Ashton Kutcher left that last season, the show still had a major impact on the television world. I will always bob my head when I’m hanging out down the street.

All of those shows began in the ‘90s which was a prime real estate for sit-com shows. Today, that formula is really hard to come by. Excluding children’s sit-coms on Disney or Nickelodeon, (Those scripts are too cheesy that they need that laugh track.) most 2000 and beyond sit-coms don’t work. I’m not saying they aren’t picked up or fail after a couple years or are even poorly reviewed. Two and a Half Men for example is one of the most famous sit-coms in the past decade, especially now for reasons that need no explanation, but despite the critical and fan acclaim and the fact that it’s going into its ninth season, what is really all that special about it? Maybe I’m too harsh, because statistically it’s been ranked in the top 20 shows ever since it first aired, but having seen it I just don’t get why it’s so special. If someone can enlighten me then please do so. I watched the season premiere with Ashton Kutcher for curiosity sake. I will admit it is nice seeing Kutcher on TV again, but not in this show. I can see where they’re going with this and hopefully this will be Men’s last year.

I watched some new shows that just premiered this fall, both actually involving Whitney Cummings. In case you don’t know who she is, she’s a shitty comedian who yells a lot and had a bad face lift. I wanted to give them a chance to see if they had any decent qualities. While 2 Broke Girls starring Kat Dennings was mediocre at best, they were a couple moments that made me chuckle. I attribute that to Kat Dennings spot on performance. So far this has yet to be picked up for a full season, but the freshman comedy Whitney starring the Botox queen herself was just recently picked up for a full season, which just goes to show how much people love D-list celebrities with bad plastic surgery. You’d think this show would be on E! This show was just god awful. Despite my distaste for Cummings I wanted to put my judgment aside and take a look regardless, going in without bias, but I barely escaped only five minutes in when I changed the channel from one of the most trite, awful, unfunny pieces of television I have ever laid my eyes on. The forced laugh track was played after every sentence each character said, making it difficult to even find the funny things funny, but then again nothing was funny anyway. Everything from the stereotypical drunk, perverted friends to the terribly written dialogue made ABC Family’s Melissa and Joey the next Seinfeld.

Why the laugh track has to be used so forcefully after every line of dialogue is ridiculous and completely unnecessary. Even when you watch an old episode of Friends there wasn’t a laugh every two seconds, rather a witty dialogue, while not always a gem, but still funny, then the laughter goes where it’s supposed to go. One live audience comedy created after the year 2000, 8 Simple Rules, was a pretty big hit, and was extremely funny. If not for the untimely death of John Ritter, that show could’ve gone on for much longer than three seasons, but I suppose it worked out for Kaley Cuoco in a way, although I don’t know many people besides my parents and the critics who are crazy about The Big Bang Theory.

Good Times, The Jefferson’s, Green Acres, I Love Lucy; this was when TV was great and the laughs of an audience meant something to the dynamic of the show. Even The Flintstones had a laugh track and that worked well too. Besides the already existing shows today, is it a good idea to get rid of the live studio audience for good? Obviously for late night talk shows, Saturday Night Live, stuff like The Daily Show among others need their live audiences, but should the future of sit-coms kill the idea of laugh tracks? I’m not sure how I feel about it, but I know that if Modern Family had an audience, would be the Emmy power house it is today? My guess is no. This was written in front of a live studio audience.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

A Look Back: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

It’s almost time for one of the most cracked out shows on TV to return in a few days, with their much anticipated season 7. As of now they hold the honor for longest running basic cable live action sit-com. Congrats to them, for being totally deserving of this, and also for having Green Man become a thing at parties. I wanted to take a look back at my favorite episodes from the Sunny seasons and some of the best one liners.

So let’s kick it off with a look back at last season. Dee was pregnant and the much anticipated father of the baby was… Carmen the Tranny. Even at the end when you see Dee coming out with a tiny little bundle of joy and the looks on the Gang’s faces looking like everything in their lives is about to change, you see Mac’s on again off again love interest Carmen, and her loving husband and Sunny goes back to what it does best, uncomfortable, ridiculous and completely crazy moments. Here are some highlights from the past six seasons.

Mac’s Big Break Season 6, Episode 4

I think this episode won me over with the intro rolling into the opening credits as Mac wins a radio contest, and Charlie, lets out a loud, uninhibited scream. Everything from Charlie’s mullet wig, Mac’s use of the word ‘jerbronie’, and Frank, Dennis and Dee starting their own podcast made this episode one of my favorites.

Paddy’s Pub: Home of the Original Kitten Mittens Season 5, Episode 8

Seriously just watch the video. Was it the Kitten Mitton commercial? Or even Frank’s obsession with eggs? Dicktowel.com? What made this episode great was the complete and utter absurdity that came from it. And for those of you VH1 reality fans, like me, one of your favorite Rock of Love girls has a cameo. I freaking love this episode. Egg.

The Waitress Is Getting Married Season 5, Episode 5
My idea was to only have one episode with each season that I loved, but I couldn’t decide between the two. The episode is filled with one liners that I constantly spout off. It makes me want to see Charlie Kelly’s match.com profile so I can browse his interests of milk steak, ghouls and magnets. Just magnets dude. Mix that in with a wheel of cheese and a box of hornets and you have an episode embedded into my mind forever.

Sweet Dee Has a Heart Attack Season 4, Episode 10
I couldn’t choose between this episode and The Gang Solves the Gas Crisis, but overall this one takes the prize as my favorite from season 4. Dee and Dennis are hilarious in this episode with their Mexican Botox do-it-yourself kits among their workout attire, but the highlight of this episode is Mac and Charlie working as two mail room schlubs, in order to get health insurance. Watch the video above for one of the best TV flip outs of all time. Don’t forget to do a little sing-a-long to Day Bow Bow, oh yeahhh.

Sweet Dee’s Dating a Retarded Person Season 3, Episode 9

Dayman… Fighter of the Nightman… Champion of the Sun… You’re a master of karate and friendship for everyone. Truly epic, oh and yeah Sweet Dee may or may not have dated a retarded guy, so that was really funny too.

Hundred Dollar Baby Season 2, Episode 5
Sweet Dee and Charlie on steroids. If them not facing square off and staring at each other only a couple inches away from each other's faces did not floor you, well, you just don’t know the true essence of Sunny. This was chock full of Sunny goodness, whether it had to do with Clown Baby or the Million Dollar Baby parody at the end of the episode.

Underage Drinking: A National Concern Season 1, Episode 3

The beginning of Sunny was rocky, only because not a lot of people knew about it, but those who did knew something special was going to happen. I personally don’t remember exactly which season of Sunny it was when I started watching… I believe it was either four or three, but regardless the first season was fantastic because of the introduction to these completely ridiculous characters and scenarios. This episode in particular was right up there on the Sunny scale of insane. Dating high school kids and letting them drink it up in the bar. Oh you guys, you slay me. I love how Mac wants to go stag to a prom he obviously has no business being at, then again none of them did.

Post some of your favorite Sunny moments, and don’t forget to tune in to FX Thursday September 15th for the season 7 premiere, Frank’s Pretty Woman. And also take a listen to the WTF with Marc Maron podcast, with guests Charlie Day and Glenn Howerton. It was a pretty interesting episode. You can listen to that at www.wtfpod.com

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

The Best and Worst of the Summer Movies (2011 Edition)

Summer's over along with the summer movies. Fall's looking a lot into the horror category with backwoods murderin', bird flu outbreaks and Justin Timberlake as an action star. Just in time for Halloween... no double pun intended. So here are the best and the worst of what I've seen from the summer 2011.

THE BEST

Horrible Bosses








Forget about The Hangover, this was the comedy everyone should've seen this summer. If you didn't you are an idiot. The cast was impeccable and completely on point. The jokes were fantastic and kept coming. There were some very unexpected surprises and we all know I'm talking about Colin Farrell. I cannot wait to own this movie on blu-ray because I'm sure there will be some special features I will not want to miss out on. This movie made me want to bend Jason Sudeikis over a barrell and show him all fifty states, if you know what I mean.

Final Destination 5




Yes, this is in my best category. As a big fan of the FD series it wasn't my absolute favorite, but was it an enormous step up from the last one. I like to pretend FD4 just didn't happen. The actors weren't annoying, but very good at dealing with their potential deaths and what was going to happen. And how can you not enjoy a Final Destination movie with Dave Koechner? Will this be the last final destination? I say most likely, and here comes a spoiler for those of you who haven't seen it.

*SPOILER*
As it turns out the final two people at the end of the movie are alive, one of them actually never died in the first vision so she was always safe, and the other took another life in order to keep his own. They board a plane to Paris and you see footage from the first movie and they are on the doomed Flight 180 and it is infact the year 2000. So, having the series come full circle should mean the end right?

30 Minutes or Less



This is on my best list for the sole reason that it was unexpectedly hilarious. Danny McBride and Aziz Ansari were in high form of comedic greatness. Jesse Eisenberg was good as usual as the frantic fast talker he usually is, but his delivery was in a much better, more frantic place. I've never seen Nick Swardson perform so well on screen before, honestly it was the best work he's ever done. Definitely check it out because it was packed with a lot of great laughs.


THE WORST

Friends With Benefits
 


Justin Timberlake is hot. Mila Kunis is hot. The two of them having sex should be hot too theoretically, but this movie was a huge, ugly mess. Probably the best word I could describe this movie would be boring. So damn boring. Did the guy who made The Room write this monstrosity? I love Woody Harrelson, and it wasn't his portrayal of a gay man, but it was the shit lines they made him say. This movie was predictable garbage. Not even a good predictable rom com cheesy movie. Such a shame. Such hotness wasted.

The Hangover Part 2
 


I figured that part two would be the same thing as one, but it left out the whole being funny thing. It was so forced, and just unappealing. One over the top thing to the next over the top thing to the next became so daunting. I didn't like how they wanted to copy the original to a T, and then just add anal sex with a transvestite and expect everyone to flip their shit with hilarity. Access denied. I will write the one line I laughed at though, "Hey mom, I'm done with my lunch it's just sitting here." Thanks Zach Galifinakis, for your delivery and fat Jesus attitude.


Even though there was a lot more good, bad and ugly of this past summer I wanted to hit on the big movies I considered to be the best and the worst. I would like to also shortly mention Super 8. It wasn't just any typical JJ Abrams affair a la Cloverfield. The kids were fantastic and acted their butts off, and it was a very sweet, touching and not trying to be cliche almost magical and made me feel like a kid again. Now it's time for the fall to begin and a lot of Oscar contenders will most likely be coming up and causing a whole new best and worst list to come.

Tori

Things Are Changing

I've decided to change the format of this blog into a pop culture how to, introduction, what's hot, what's new, that sort of thing. With a brand new fall lineup for TV with budding new shows, TV shows coming to an end and all sorts of new things for the fall it'll be a perfect time for lots of new things.

Also coming soon will be a podcast. Right now it's in the beginning stages but once it's up and running it'll be an extension of the blog. So that's all I have for now, I'll definitely try to keep updating more.

Tori

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Fast Food Addicts Anonymous

Hello all! For many years I have struggled with addiction. No, it wasn't beer or delicious Crown Royal, or any kind of drug. It was the chicken nugget I have been struggling with since I got my two front teeth. During my childhood my dad worked at Arby's, so addition to the roast beef sandwiches and cheddar fries two or three times a week there was the Long John's, Burger King's, McDonald's and every other chain that you could drive your car through.

On a kindergarten class trip to McDonald's for breakfast all the kids got orange juice and at the bright, young age of 5 I was the only kid who wimpered and moaned for a soda, at 9 in the morning. Ever since I started to get my own paychecks the addiction has gotten so much worse. Especially with newer places like Sonic, Cookout and my mortal enemy -- Chick-Fil-A. Fuck that stupid ass cow. The longest I've ever gone without a double cheeseburger or number 5, large size, was one month. Then I caved.

I do blame a lot of my addiction on how I was raised. Home cooked meals were a rarity, and if you count microwaveable substances home cooked then Thanksgiving and Christmas were truly the only real meals. Except for that Waffle House incident. That was just Satan being a dick, but I digress. Growing up where the most creative thing prepared in my household was putting cinnamon on buttered toast, it really didn't help my skills in the kitchen become any better than they are today. I can cook a rather delicious Steak-Umm, and my cereal rocks. So just like the people who I call my parentals, I too grab sodas and fast food pretty much on a daily basis. It got so bad for awhile that I would get fast food mulitiple times a day. Sometimes I would feel embarrassed going to the same Chick-Fil-A because I thought they were secretly judging me, so I would drive to a different one that was farther away.

People have asked me, don't I care about spending so much money? I know how much my regular orders are for the places I frequent most, all within the $3-8 range. So let's do the math kids. Let's say I get fast food 7 times a week at around five bucks a pop. That's $35 a week, $140 a month, and $1820 a year. Yep, that's right. Numbers don't lie. That's seriously how much I could and probably have spent on fast food.

After not having been on a scale in a few months I finally decided to start going to the gym and decided that this past Monday was the day I started changing things. When I saw the number on the scale my jaw dropped. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. It was ridiculous, and with my family history of obesity and other health issues, I knew that I didn't want to turn into someone who needs gastric bypass and still carries candy everywhere they go. Monday was my last fast food encounter. Chick-Fil-A, of course. And that is it. I'm quitting cold turkey. Just like any other addiction I need to focus and get support and stay away from all that horrible shit. I've also been working out again, which I always loved and still do now.

I've tried weaning myself off of it. I've tried being broke. I've tried the cold turkey thing before. I've tried making my own meals. Remember I can barely cook toast here, so concocting things for me to eat is hard. But this time it's for real. I can't ever have it again. Maybe someday, like my death bed I'll scarf myself with the crispy deliciousness of Chick-Fil-A nuggets, but until then I am making drastic lifestyle changes. If anyone wants to join me in my journey please let me know. Pretend like I'm quitting smoking, because whenever I tell people I am addicted to fast food they think it's silly, like it's not anything one can get addicted to. Well, it is an expensive, unhealthy, disgusting habit, and just like any other drug it has taken over. And right now I am in the baby stage of recovery. There shall be blog updates a plenty of full coverage of getting over my addiction, so stay tuned.